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Start the week as i mean to go on- “Liturgel”

Its 2.30pm already and I still havent been out of the house – engrossed in reading colleagues e-mails and tidying up my vast empire of files and books. Made several phone calls to see how people are and saw a painted lady butterfly in the garden – Ive heard they are prolific this year.

And now its raining again – St Swithun rules OK!

Anyway, as its more than half way thorugh the day, it must be time to mention gel or swine ‘flu again . Now, call me thick or what, but when I first read this e-mail I thought it was serious, poor innocent that I am – but I think it is a joke – tongue in cheek – sent from someone whose mission it is to help us see the funnier side of life/gel/The Church of England/SF….. wont disclose any authorship as I might get into trouble…


Sisters and Brothers

I have been asked to say a little more about the exciting new product which
I have developed and which is being produced by Kevin Mayhew. It is a
Fairtrade product called “Liturgel” and it comes in biodegradable organic
flip-top catgut containers of 400 ml and 150 ml. It will definitely be 60%
alcohol at least and thus guaranteed to be both anti bacterial but also,
importantly, anti viral.It is priced at £4.50 and £2.00 respectively. It
comes in five fragrances: Lime,Mango,Cape Gooseberry, Pine (for
Traditionalists) and a luxury version for High Days and Holy days, called
‘Star of the Sea’- this one has the heady aromatic nose of Bombay Sapphire
(Mother Robson please note)This is slightly more expensive at £5.50 and
£3.50 respectively.

Whilst writing I would draw your attention to another product from the same
stable, again Fairtrade of course, it is a handy little aerosol called
“Euchamist”.This is designed to be sprayed on the Sacred Vessels before
Mass, during Mass and after Mass. It delivers a fine film of odourless and
tasteless antebacterial and antiviral spray which immediately renders the
surfaces sterile but not masking the taste or aroma of bread or wine. It may
also be used to spray directly onto the foreheads or other body parts of the
People of God either before or after the Peace or during Communion if the
President desires to continue touching or otherwise handling the Faithful
after formally Blessing them.

I should tell you that all these products will have been pre-blessed by the
Bishop of Edmonton at the factory, and thus will be suitable for use by all
types of Anglican catholic from AffCath/SCP/Liberals on the left, through
Radical Orthodoxy to SSC/FinF/Cost of Con/Assorted Papalists on the right.
They can also be used by Evangelicals of every type, Calvinists, Sea of
Faith and even those who do not believe in the physical Resurrection of our Lord or in the Virginity of his Blessed Mother without any deleterious effects.

There will be discounts for bulk orders from Deaneries.

Think its  wind up – dont you?

painted lady And here is a painted lady – one billion are predicted to be invading us this summer – scarry stuff – and nothing you can do to protect yourselves against them – just have to enjoy them – or cut down all your plants.

July 27, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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